In my practice I have found that people do not understand boundaries and many do not have boundaries. Personal boundaries are guidelines, rules or limits that people create to identify, for themselves, what are reasonable, safe and permissible ways for other people to behave around them. Boundaries include how an individual will respond when someone steps outside those limits. They are built out of a mix of beliefs, opinions, attitudes, past experiences and social learning.
Personal boundaries define you as an individual, outlining your likes and dislikes, and setting the distances you allow others to approach. They include physical, mental, psychological and spiritual boundaries, involving beliefs, emotions and intuitions.
When setting my boundaries it is a way of loving and caring for myself. I found that the boundaries I set in my life play a key role in successful, healthy relationships with others. My boundaries also help me manage my daily life. For instance, when someone I know calls me, they might hear me say I have so many minutes to talk and we may or may not need to talk later. When we discuss it we might go ahead and set up a good time for a call back. When people visit my home I am very open about my boundaries. I let others know where to find extra water, snacks, the bathroom location and more depending on the situation.
The following are a few good tips on setting boundaries.
- Know your likes and dislikes; know yourself
- Identify boundaries you wish to set
- Tell others
- Stick to the boundaries you set.
Other people want to know your boundaries. It helps them feel comfortable around you and it urges them to honor your boundaries. When people know and communicate their boundaries everyone benefits. Interested in learning more about boundaries?
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It took me decades to begin setting boundaries. People could just tromp all over me and I’d just take it. It is very empowering to set and stick to boundaries. The first experiences at this gave me heady, powerful feelings which made me laugh! Namaste, Angel – your guiding words, loving heart and support continue to be a positive impact with this topic – and more!
So awesome and thank you for your kind words.